Love means joy, not suffering. Opting-out of this destructive idea will dramatically improve your happiness and your life.
Abusers want us to love them, because then we live with the unacceptable. We begin to believe that to love is to suffer. The world tells us that love means pain – think Shakespeare, Wuthering Heights, and even the considerably less highbrow Fifty Shades of Grey. If we buy into this, we believe our abuser is damaged and that’s how love is supposed to be. We stay when we know we shouldn’t. Our sense of self worth shrivels and dies.
That suffering goes hand in hand with love, is a big fat lie. Healthy love enriches us. It lifts us up. It is joyful.
If your love means pain, you don’t have to accept it. At any time, you can seize back your power by closing the door on a toxic relationship.
“Love is joy. Don’t convince yourself that suffering is a part of it.” Paulo Coelho
What does love mean to you? Can we love without suffering?
ALSO SEE: A taste of life with a non-abuser, in An appetite for an abuse-free future.
© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14