Trauma bonding

How traumatic bonding works, and how to recover.

Photo by Occhi Rivoluzionari

Photo by Occhi Rivoluzionari

3 major signs you’re in a trauma bond
Are you struggling to understand why it is so hard to let go of a violent or abusive relationship? Here are three signs that trauma bonding may be holding you back.

4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships
Trauma-bonding offers a compelling insight into why people struggle to escape abusive relationships. Here are four facts about what it is and why it works – and how to break the destructive bond.

What abusers hope we never learn about trauma bonding
Do you think you can’t leave your abusive partner? Do you feel hopeless when you return to a relationship filled with pain? Or, do you dwell on your toxic ex and struggle to stay away? Then you may be caught in a carefully crafted trauma bond – but you don’t need to be Houdini to escape.

Why we stay: trauma bonding
Trauma bonding occurs when your safety, happiness, or security depends upon your abuser. It’s in your interest to keep your controlling abuser happy. The bond works for your abuser: it keeps you tethered to him. It also, at times, works for you: if you resist and challenge your abuser you are more likely to be injured.

© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14

2 responses to “Trauma bonding

  1. Wish I knew about Trauma Bonding back in 1994. Perhaps I may have started my exit sooner. I believe my oldest daughter, ( he took custody of her when she was 16 yrs old) adores him. Certainly as he made drugs his first priority, I cannot seem to come to any other conclusion. I was allowed to keep our other, younger daughter, so the girls got split up as well. Even though the oldest is married, this adoration continues with her father while I get treated like a second class citizen.


  2. I interact with him after I say, “no more,” he pushes my buttons and I react. Then he sits back and watches me twirl. Am I really crazy? I feel quilty for my behavior, my reactions. I rage like a mad women because, of course, there really is no talking to him, and once again, I get to be the crazy, immature, bitch. What is wrong with me????


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