Abusive tactics

Common abusive tactics – what they mean, and what we can do about them.

Photo by familymwr

Photo by familymwr

Domestic violence de-coded: 5 lies that perpetrators tell
Discover what perpetrators of domestic violence or abuse really mean in this breakdown of the TOP FIVE lies they tell.

Emotional blackmail: suicide threats in abusive relationships
Self-harm and suicide threats are amongst the most terrifying – and effective – manipulation tactics in an abuser’s toolkit. Here’s what happened when I called the bluff of an abusive blackmailer.

Stalking for Beginners: A reference Guide
Are you finding it seemingly impossible to escape your abusive ex? Are you constantly looking over your shoulder? Then discover what drives stalking, predatory men in this satirical guide.

Why abusers say ‘I love you’
Ever wondered how your partner can passionately insist that he loves you one minute, and threaten to punch you in the face the next? Manipulative abusers don’t speak the same language that we do: here’s what he really means when he says he loves you.

Is your abuser giving you FIB syndrome?
Do you feel exhausted and inadequate? Do you invest your time trying to resolve your abuser’s problems, and neglect your own needs? You may have Fix It Burden syndrome.

What abusers say: 15 early warning signs
Do you feel there’s something ‘not quite right’ about your new romance? Can’t put your finger on why? If so, you may have a budding abuser on your hands – and listening to what they say could prevent you from becoming their latest project. Here’s 15 early warning signs that are dangerous to ignore.

How to beat emotional blackmail
Does your partner threaten to kill himself if you try to leave him? Does he tell you you don’t love him enough? That he just can’t cope without you? Then you may be on the receiving end of emotional blackmail. Here’s my guide to identifying and dealing with one of the most powerful tactics in an abuser’s toolkit.

Morbid jealousy in abusive relationships
Abusers – who often suffer deep-seated confidence and control issues – use jealousy to fuel emotional or physical abuse. Morbid jealousy, also known as Othello Syndrome or delusional jealousy, is jealousy taken to dangerous extremes.

Gaslighting: You are NOT mad or bad
Gaslighting is a form of abuse, where the abuser deliberately does or says things to make us doubt our memory, perception, or sanity. Gaslighting is a tactic frequently used by sociopaths, and its effects occur gradually over time. Its insidious nature can mean many people who are being gaslighted find it impossible to accurately identify what has gone wrong.

7 Red flags that your partner is a jailor
‘The Jailor’ believes that women can’t be trusted to go out alone, and that their place is in the home (preferably barefoot, breastfeeding and working their way through a pile of ironing!). This is my top 7 of some of the things the Jailor does to keep us in his clutches.

Abusive lies UNCOVERED #1: Sweet little lies
Abusers will lie about absolutely anything. They will lie about the biggest issues and the smallest things, such as what they ate for lunch. We wear ourselves out trying to tell fact from fiction. We wonder why they invest so much energy in spinning untruths – particularly on seemingly trivial matters. Here, I’m exploring how and why ‘sweet little lies’ work in an abuser’s world.

Why he only hurts you when he’s drunk (or high)
Are you convinced that your husband’s drug addiction is the reason he abuses you? Does your remorseful partner earnestly plead, ‘I only hit you when I’m drunk’? Do you struggle to understand why he won’t give up something which causes him to inflict so much hurt on you? Then there are FOUR FACTS that you need to know, right now.

© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14

3 responses to “Abusive tactics

  1. My Ex- Mother told me that “It will be a cold day in Hell before you ever get your sons back; even on my death bed you will never get your sons back!”
    would you tell me why she is so cruel to my sons and myself!


  2. I do not understand. We went to court. I say were divorced. We just need to get the paper work from the judge. But … he still will not leave me alone. I have moved to a defferent town. I have any Order of Protection against him. He tried to brake my neck in public. And … he still wants me to come home ! (his home). I do not want anything to do with him. He even picks at our five year old son, to try to find out were I live! He has never been arrested for anything. He is still trying to control me! Will it ever stop? Or is he going to do this until the day he dies?


Have your voice heard, here! (Anonymous comments accepted)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s