“I’ve read that if an avalanche buries you and you’re lying there underneath all that snow, you can’t tell which way is up or down. You want to dig yourself out but pick the wrong way, and you dig yourself to your own demise.” – Khaled Hosseini
Avalanche of the Soul
This blog was born as I started to dig out of the avalanche of soul-sapping domestic abuse at the hands of the man I believed to be the love of my life. Emotionally numb, I didn’t then know which was the right way to dig – but I knew it had to be up.
Avalanche is my story. It also chronicles my journey of recovery. In sharing my experience, as well what I’ve learned along the way as I clamber out of the ice pit, I hope to help others to achieve a life of safety and happiness.
In the UK, around two women a week are killed by their violent partner or ex partner. But the emotional bruises and scars that are caused by living with domestic abuse are often unseen.
For some service providers, it’s simple. Leave your abusive partner. Problem solved. But, for many survivors, this is just the start of the recovery process. We live in the shadow of the avalanche of the soul – the nuanced feelings of fear, guilt, insecurity and loss that don’t automatically disappear when we walk (or run) away from our abuser.
> In this blog I regularly refer to the abuser as male. I know and acknowledge that women can be perpetrators too – the male is used here simply for convenience and consistency.
I’m a thirty-something single mother-of-one. As well as being a mum, I’m a writer and a bookworm. I’m also a domestic abuse survivor, and started this blog after getting out of my second abusive relationship.
Leaving the relationship was painful and messy. I had a load of confusing and conflicting feelings – not just the immense relief that I expected, but also sadness, regret and fear.
I started to read and research. I joined support groups, talked to other survivors, and did courses. It has made me more informed, and stronger.
By blogging anonymously, I can be as brutally honest as I need to be. Some of the things I share on this blog, I have never told anyone. I hope this blog helps you on your journey, and helps raise awareness of the complexities of abusive relationships.
Thanks for stopping by!
The experience of domestic abuse is a painful and personal blog topic. Like many others, I blog to share what I have learned, to deepen my understanding, and in the hope that it may help others.
The blogging experience is one of collaboration and community. This makes it a great place to share experiences and perspectives on domestic abuse – where there are lots of things that both survivors and perpetrators have in common. I welcome use of my material in line with this notice:
© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Avalanche of the Soul with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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- Re-blogs from this blog
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- Using excerpts and links from this blog
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Commenting on this blog
I always love to hear from you! I welcome feedback, experiences, and insights that may help me and others. So, please feel free to post comments.
I don’t edit any comments I receive – so the comments that appear on the blog are published exactly as they were written. However, I may not choose not to publish offensive comments, trolling, or spam.
Unless otherwise specified, all views on this blog are my own and do not constitute professional advice in any way and should not be taken as such.
© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14