Why do you hate women?

Here’s my blanket response to the depressingly self-righteous trolls that find their way to this site. I’m nearly as tired of repeating myself as I am fed up with reading their pointless comments. Domestic violence is a gendered issue: stop pretending it’s not.

A website dealing with domestic violence was certain to attract trolls. Their comments are unsurprising in their irrelevance, ignorance, and uniformity and typically look like this:

  • “Why is it always ‘he’ with you feminists?” Do you understand what feminism is?
  • Men are victims too! I never said they weren’t.
  • My girlfriend is convinced I’m abusive, thanks to sites like this. Have you considered the possibility that you actually are?

I usually allow their mini-tirades on the site because hey, I enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else. But I’m tired of repeating myself now. So, for the men getting all bent out of shape because I routinely use ‘he’ when referring to a perpetrator, and ‘she’ for the individual on the receiving end, here’s a few things you should know.

The content on this site is focused almost exclusively on females. I use gendered language because I write primarily for females, and because domestic violence – whether keyboard warriors want to accept it or not – is a gendered issue:

  • An average of 30 per cent of women report that they have experienced some form of physical or sexual violence by their partner (World Health Organization, 2014)
  • The vast majority of domestic violence perpetrators are men (Women’s Aid, 2015)
  • Domestic violence is a deeply gendered issue (Refuge, 2015)
  • Men are significantly more likely to use physical violence, threats and harassment (Hester, 2009)

However, whilst men make up the minority of victims, they have an equal right to live free from domestic violence. This site isn’t aimed at men but they can and do find useful information on these pages. Males share their stories and they seek advice, and are welcomed here. Articles on this site have also been linked to and re-blogged by LGBT outlets, seeking to raise awareness of domestic violence in same sex relationships.

angrylaptopI don’t hate men. I love men. My father is a man, my brother is a man, and my son will God willing grow into a man. There’s a difference between the men in my life, and the abusive specimens described on this site. For such men, I feel contempt and sometimes even pity. Such men should come with a permanent health warning, for they devastate lives. Such men are not, in fact, men at all.

Is that why you are trolling domestic violence websites? Perhaps you’re feeling jittery because your partner has determined that you are abusive? If so, sites like this are not to blame. I aim to help women recognise and escape abuse. Stop attempting to shift responsibility and take a hard and honest look at yourself. I don’t hate men. Why do you hate women?

8 responses to “Why do you hate women?

  1. Reblogged this on Booksbyjameswnelson and commented:
    Wow, this woman told it like it is. Sorry to say, there are a good many men out there who see women only as objects for sex, food, a well-kept house, someone to criticize in front of others…I could go on; I’ve seen it all, and here’s a Catch-22 for you. In the past, when I’ve witnessed out-of-control teasing and bullying and physical and sexual harassment (long before that term even came about in its present meaning) and have intervened, I’ve been told by the woman, “It’s OK!” Fine, she didn’t want to rock anybody’s boat. Was a different time then but I doubt much has changed, except that “some” women are standing up. Today I’m glad to be far away from any situations like that to come up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi forest. Thanks for the re-blog and for being a voice of solidarity. Too many women are on the receiving end of this misogynistic abuse which is designed to silence us from speaking out and pushing for change. Again, thank you.


  2. Dear Avalanche, those menz-rIIIght$ wankers are annoying, and implacable as all get-out. The absolute worst ones are those who play the christ-card. Talk about ravenous wolves!


  3. I get these comments from men on my YouTube channel, even on videos where I did use “she” or “he or she” a few times during the video.

    It is like they did not watch and listen , but just had a preconceived bias against any women discussing domestic abuse.

    I agree with you that many of the men making these comments are narcissists. They are upset that we are giving their girlfriends a frame of reference to see reality by.

    The others just have an attitude problem of some sort. If someone was reaaly broken from narcissistic abuse then they would be happy to listen to any help and not jump up on some soap box rant about how women act like we are the only ones who are abused.

    Where do they get off attacking us and demanding that we justify ourselves on our own blog? If they don’t like it there are thousands of other blogs and youtube channels to watch.


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