I paid a hefty price for falling in love with an abuser, and I blamed myself for allowing it to happen. Now, I know that this human wreaking ball taught me valuable lessons.
Domestic abuse is devastating and damaging: I’ve experienced many things that I wish had never happened. I once thought that my abuser had taken everything from me. But, he left me with two priceless lessons.
Lesson ONE: It wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t my job to make it right.
- Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. Truly.
- I fell in love with a careful mask, not a man.
- No matter how much I loved him, my abuser didn’t love me.
- My abuser didn’t NEED my help to get better. He didn’t WANT to get better.
- My abuser will never change. He never accepted responsibility. He won’t start now.
- I am not responsible for him. I never was.
Lesson TWO: I always had power and strength, even when I didn’t know it.
- I would leave my abuser when I was ready – not because the rest of the world told me to do it.
- More is not the answer. More love, more understanding, more money, more compassion, more letting it go – nothing worked but ‘no more’.
- Escaping is a process. Even though I’ve closed the door on my abuser, I have to work at keeping it locked every day.
- I am more resourceful than I ever guessed.
- It is better to be single than to sacrifice my soul.
- Fear is only good when it propels me to positive action.
- I am strong enough. I am stronger than him.
“Some people come into your life as blessings. Some people come into your life as lessons.” Unknown
Have you learned something of value from the devastation of domestic abuse?
ALSO SEE: Top tactics abusers use to block your escape, in What your abuser doesn’t want you to know.
© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14