How to recognise the Lesser Speckled Abuser

The Lesser Speckled Abuser is a common creature, but hard to spot. Characterised by his shrewd mating rituals and vicious nature, he has only one real threat: You.

Angry bird

Photo by bfishadow

Latin Name and Family Genus
Quae quamquam foeda hominum (Eng. translation: ‘Horrible people’), from the wider family of Awful Creatures That You Hope Never Darken Your Doorstep.

Habitat and appearance

The Lesser Speckled Abuser is a common creature, though notoriously difficult to identify at first. He can be found in your workplace, the local store – or even next door.

A master of disguise, the Lesser Speckled Abuser has a fine plumage that he will puff up on spotting a potential mate, (or food source – in the case of our narcissistic specimens). A proficient hunter, he will maintain his peacock-like finery until his confidence in his mate has grown sufficiently for him to assume his most comfortable guise: standard colours of dull-grey streaked with a red as rage underbelly.

Behaviour and ecology

A proficient hunter, the Lesser Speckled Abuser has an elaborate mating ritual that begins with identifying a likely looking mate. Often, they will focus on prospects that appear vulnerable, or trusting – but equally they may select a successful, independent member of the species as their target.

In the early courtship, our subject will shamelessly love bomb his target. This impressive process – which is also common amongst psychopaths – involves lavish displays of attention and affection designed to speed up the mating process so the Abuser can relax into his natural state. He may use mirroring techniques to reassure their partner that he is a perfect mate, telling you what he thinks you want to hear most of all.

Angry seagull

Photo by minotaurus

As the relationship progresses and he feels more secure, his natural state starts to break through. His verbal cues will begin to emerge and you may begin to feel uncomfortable as you experience subtle emotional blackmail, criticism, and not-so-funny put-downs. Refer to 15 Early Warning Signs for a fuller guide to the calls of the Lesser Speckled Abuser.

Before long, you will be conditioned to accept your mate’s natural state, which will see him swelling up with misplaced self-importance and manufactured rage. Expect to experience any or all of the following as he works to ensure your submission and keep you in your place in the nest:

  • Physical violence and intimidation: prepare for anything from shoves, to slaps, punches and spitting. The Lesser Speckled Abuser may also destroy your property, get in your face, and punch walls to intimidate you.
  • Emotional abuse: this could include gas-lighting, threats of violence, efforts to isolate you from your nearest and dearest, turning the children against you, interrogations, and continual surveillance of your movements – among many others.
  • Financial control: you will lose any financial independence as he makes it difficult for you to work and keeps you short of cash, or fritters away any money that you earn on drink, drugs or gambling.

Predators and natural threats

The Lesser Speckled Abuser is hyper-aware of potential threats to his dominance. Other males and even your friends and family terrify him, because they may take you away or convince you to fly the nest. Expect to see extreme or delusional jealousy.

However, as the stronger in the pairing, you are his greatest threat. The Speckled Abuser lives in a constant state of terror that one day you will see him as the weak, bullying specimen that he is, and fly off into the sunset.

Dog with angry bird

Photo by _tar0_

Unfortunately, the Lesser Speckled Abuser is not on the endangered species list – though many are hard at work to put him (or her) there. If you are caged-up with this unpleasant and dangerous specimen, don’t wait for the neighbourhood canine to carry him off – find another perch, far, far away.

ALSO SEE: How your abuser tries keep you in his clutches, in 7 red flags that your partner is a Jailor.

© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14

7 responses to “How to recognise the Lesser Speckled Abuser

  1. Awesome posting!! so many points that I enjoyed. You are correct- these types are always threatened by strong individuals. I also like how you write that they will perform to win your trust and then will revert to their natural state.


    • I’m glad you like it, Kimberley. It took me a long time to realise that the plumage and fine words were just for show, to attract a mate. Rather like a peacock, when they put away their feathers they are just an unpleasant looking-bird 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh, I have lived through this. More needs to be written about this and how to spot this behavior early on. It’s so obvious in hindsight and yet so easy to be taken in by the earliest stages.


  3. Aussa, you are so right. It is hard to spot an abuser in the beginning. They are manipulative creatures that know exactly what they are doing, and how to put on an attractive disguise… just long enough to catch us!


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