You are stronger than your abuser

© Avalanche of the Soul 2013-14

© Avalanche of the Soul 2013-14

Even when you feel at your weakest, you are STILL stronger than your abuser. You may doubt this from time to time – but guess what? Your abuser knows it.

He knows you have a strength that he cannot ever match. That’s why he ramps up the abuse whenever he catches a glimpse of your spine-of-steel. He needs to keep hammering away (emotionally, physically, or financially – whatever it takes) to keep you down.

As his need to control you goes into overdrive, he’s terrified that one day you will find out that you are stronger than him. He is petrified that your strength will carry you away from him.

Still not sure? Then just think of even one day in your life with him. Could a weak person survive it without coming apart at the seams? Could he, if the boot was on the other foot? Exactly.


Even when you feel at your weakest, you are STILL stronger than your abuser!

Photo by xJasonRogersx

Photo by xJasonRogersx

What makes you feel powerful? When was your strongest moment?

ALSO SEE: How to overcome fear and escape your abuser, in Feel the fear and leave an abusive relationship anyway

© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14

4 responses to “You are stronger than your abuser

  1. Pingback: Culture bomb #1: When Your Narcissist is From the Middle East | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed·

  2. Pingback: Culture bomb #1: When your Narcissist is from the Middle East | Avalanche of the soul·

  3. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, it was invariably my strengths that my abuser relentlessly attacked – my views on gender discrimination in the media, my parenting values, my spirituality, my anti-consumerist stance, my desire to instil critical thinking skills in our children – all of these have been considered my strengths by so many, many other people, including my adult daughters. He ripped me to shreds for all these reasons and a lot of others. Instead of being proud of my ability to survive childhood sexual abuse in reasonably good shape, he mocked and belittled me for it. You are just so right. We’re incredibly strong…and I don’t agree with the view that seems to prevail in society – that victims are weak and co-dependent. I believe we are sought out in a deliberate attempt to take us down…at least by a certain subset of abusers. I’ve known too many intelligent, strong women who’ve been brought to the edge of madness by the tactics of their abusers. I’m really enjoying the insights from your blog. Thank you.


    • You are so right, Miss Min. I believe abusers are desperately insecure people, so preoccupied with their own weaknesses and obsessed with their own flaws that the only way they feel they might feel better is to establish power over someone else – by any means possible. So yes, they’ll try to turn our strengths and qualities into weaknesses and flaws to be criticised and ridiculed. They will hone in one these very points (as well as our deepest hurts) as part of their campaign to destroy their target.

      I don’t see ‘victims’. I see ‘survivors’. As you say, many people that I know who have been on the receiving end of abuse are astute, compassionate, successful – exactly the qualities that make them a prime prize for someone who wants to ‘prove’ their own self worth by dominating or destroying them.

      And the media does feed the public view that so-called victims are helpless and even complicit in the abuse. It’s a really destructive, counter-productive paradigm. Thank you for pointing it out so articulately. We need more voices like yours!

      Liked by 1 person

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