Do you have a tune that bounces you out of ‘helpless domestic abuse victim’ into Survivor Diva mode? Do you have a go-to song for the dark days? If so, please share so I can add it to my internal playlist for the impending trial.
I’m dreading the trial. I must – like countless others, every day, around the world – sit in a courtroom full of strangers, and, with my abuser sitting in the dock, try to make them understand the fear and pain of domestic abuse without falling apart.
So, it was a bit of a shock to hear my abuser’s favourite song on the radio today – for the first time since getting free. Though the smash-hit ‘Love the Way You Lie’ was released before my ex dropped his Prince Charming mask, hearing the gentlemanly Eminem tell me “If she ever tries to f****g leave again, Im’a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire” wasn’t the most pleasant experience ever. I started channel-hopping in search of a tune that was less raw.
On the next radio station, they were half-way through Robin Thicke’s appalling ‘Blurred Lines’, where he asserts, with (misplaced) confidence, that“I know you want it / But you’re a good girl / The way you grab me / Must wanna get nasty”.
Switching to a station known for ‘easy listening’ tracks, I thought, was a safe bet. Unfortunately, they were dusting off the positively ancient and 100 per cent creepy, ‘Run for Your Life’ by The Beatles. I switched it off after “I’d rather see you dead, little girl / than to be with another man”.
As I drove the rest of the way home listening to the soothing nothingness of talk radio, I dredged my brain for all the empowering songs that could muster. I’m adding them to my internal playlist to summon up during the trial.
After shelving Gloria Gaynor’s cheese-tastic ‘I Will Survive’, here’s what I came up with. I’d love to hear the tunes that help get you through the tough times!
10 PLAYLIST TUNES for an Abuse Survivor
- Destiny’s Child – Survivor
- Alicia Keys – Girl on Fire
- Meredith Brooks – Bitch
- No Doubt – Just a Girl
- Whitney Houston – It’s not right, but it’s Okay
- Kelly Clarkson – Mr Know It All
- David Guetta & Sia – Titanium
- Alanis Morrissette – You Oughta Know
- Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
- Katy Perry – Firework
At the moment, I think my favourite has to be Jamelia’s ‘Thank you’ – worth humming along to for these inspiring lyrics alone:
For every last bruise you gave me / For every time I sat in tears / For the million ways you hurt me / I just wanna tell you this / You broke my world, made me strong / Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong / Thank you
What do you think of the Playlist so far? Have I missed out your go-to Survivor Tune? Do tell!
© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14