Abuse survivor’s playlist: Call for submissions!

Do you have a tune that bounces you out of ‘helpless domestic abuse victim’ into Survivor Diva mode? Do you have a go-to song for the dark days? If so, please share so I can add it to my internal playlist for the impending trial.

Original photo by Studio Cl Art

Original photo by Studio Cl Art

I’m dreading the trial. I must – like countless others, every day, around the world – sit in a courtroom full of strangers, and, with my abuser sitting in the dock, try to make them understand the fear and pain of domestic abuse without falling apart.

So, it was a bit of a shock to hear my abuser’s favourite song on the radio today – for the first time since getting free. Though the smash-hit ‘Love the Way You Lie’ was released before my ex dropped his Prince Charming mask, hearing the gentlemanly Eminem tell me “If she ever tries to f****g leave again, Im’a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire” wasn’t the most pleasant experience ever. I started channel-hopping in search of a tune that was less raw.

On the next radio station, they were half-way through Robin Thicke’s appalling ‘Blurred Lines’, where he asserts, with (misplaced) confidence, that“I know you want it / But you’re a good girl / The way you grab me / Must wanna get nasty”.

Switching to a station known for ‘easy listening’ tracks, I thought, was a safe bet. Unfortunately, they were dusting off the positively ancient and 100 per cent creepy, ‘Run for Your Life’ by The Beatles. I switched it off after “I’d rather see you dead, little girl / than to be with another man”.

As I drove the rest of the way home listening to the soothing nothingness of talk radio, I dredged my brain for all the empowering songs that could muster. I’m adding them to my internal playlist to summon up during the trial.

After shelving Gloria Gaynor’s cheese-tastic ‘I Will Survive’, here’s what I came up with. I’d love to hear the tunes that help get you through the tough times!

10 PLAYLIST TUNES for an Abuse Survivor

Image by nevit

Image by nevit

  1. Destiny’s Child – Survivor
  2. Alicia Keys – Girl on Fire
  3. Meredith Brooks – Bitch
  4. No Doubt – Just a Girl
  5. Whitney Houston – It’s not right, but it’s Okay
  6. Kelly Clarkson – Mr Know It All
  7. David Guetta & Sia – Titanium
  8. Alanis Morrissette – You Oughta Know
  9. Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
  10. Katy Perry – Firework

At the moment, I think my favourite has to be Jamelia’s ‘Thank you’ – worth humming along to for these inspiring lyrics alone:

For every last bruise you gave me / For every time I sat in tears / For the million ways you hurt me / I just wanna tell you this / You broke my world, made me strong / Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong / Thank you

What do you think of the Playlist so far? Have I missed out your go-to Survivor Tune? Do tell!

© Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14

10 responses to “Abuse survivor’s playlist: Call for submissions!

  1. I am pretty partial to Aaliyah’s U Got Nerve. It isn’t technically a survival song, but it’s about “cleaning house” and letting them know their time is up. Plus it’s bouncy. I also like Alicia Keys’ Karma which is suitable for those who have the abuser trolling back around trying to woo them back in to the trap.


  2. Gunpowder and Lead. It’s about a woman killing her abusive ex and if I cannae kill my abuser (still need his money to eat/pay rent etc) I can at least listen to songs about it!


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